::CLAC:: Thank you. I'm Sorry.

"After all that we've gone through
The best pathway for us is
To stay as a friend."

Ivy's POV

It's been almost a year since I went out with Aaron. Each day we passed together were gifted with experiences that could make us love each other more, not the less. Aaron is such a great man; he knows how to be mature even more than the boys in his current age. He's honest, determined and at times he can be really serious, and in another time, he can be spoiled and childish as if he's been back to the years where he wants to have fun the most.

The more I understand about him, the more I know how his gesture is when he's happy, and sad, or even mad. I thought it was what it means by accepting others the way they are. However, as I thought I've understood him enough, I soon began to realize that there's still a lot of things he hid from me. He never lies, but he never really relies on me. Every single time he told me he was okay, when I know he was not, I felt like something has strangled my deep thought.

I believe that being in relationship means we're not supposed to go in the path towards the future alone, and thus that someone would also hug our pasts and hold the current us who walks besides them. Though I've walked besides Aaron, I've never really felt like he would let me completely hug him as who he is. For the first time I really feel unsure whether what I've done was right or wrong, nor that I can really convey what I think to him. Because he can't completely rely on me, I grew afraid on sharing my problems with him. I don't want to add the weight of his life because I want to lift him up by then. I don't want to be the one receiving too much love, I want to love a lot more too.

But then... I guess my hand wasn't strong enough to pull him up and my arms weren't wide enough to embrace him tight. There's a space between us that we haven't understand what should we filled it with. Aaron, for not being able to become your proper sanctuary or a harbour for you to rest, I'm sorry. Though I believe you deserved to receive all the love in the world, in the end what we would receive is the love that we think we deserve to get. For making you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I hope we can take a step back as we bring this experiences with us. I hope you will soon find that someone who can give you the right way to love as the way you'll gladly received without being burdened.

I would never regret having a part of my life shared with you. For sharing me so many love and experiences, I would like to thank you very, very much.

I'm sorry, and thank you for everything.